Wow, it has been so long since I have blogged. The last time I wrote, I was sharing my feelings of being anxious about labor. Can you believe I went into labor later on into the night lol. God has blessed me to have a wonderful, safe, natural, unassisted birth. I will post the story on a later date. It was the most wonderful experience. It was exciting for my husband and to be able to share this experience with my mother and younger sister. Our Nehemiah was born November 14, 2013 at 4:16 p.m. He is now 3 months and is a very happy and alert baby.
I have thought about writing many times, but I have been adjusting to my new life as a mother. It has been quite an adjustment. My life is no longer about me. God has given me the responsibility of another. I do not take it lightly. We are still faithfully reading the Word of God to him daily (something I started in the womb). We just completed Ecclesiastes. I thank God for His Word, it has blessed me and at times I wonder if the reading is more for me than Nehemiah lol.
God is doing something in our lives and I am happy how He has and is preparing our hearts and minds for His blessings. As you all have read in a couple of my post on encouraging my husband and our financial situation, God has blessed us in that area as well. God has gave my husband favor on the job and is now a supervisor. That was a wonderful holiday surprise!
Now that my Kerwin has this promotion and our new baby we are desiring to purchase a home. It has been a desire before these wonderful events but we feel it’s time to start pursuing it. We are now establishing a financial plan to get that accomplished.
Now that things are getting settled I am hoping to faithfully start writing again.
As my due date approaches, I began to wonder when will my sweet little one arrive. The days pass and I know he can come at anytime. I sometimes ask throughout the day, “Are you ready to come?” I look for signs, symptoms and any changes that hint he is on the way. I feel disappointed that nothing has happened and he seems to be content with staying put.
I get so excited by the fact he can come at anytime that I find myself getting anxious and wonder when will he make his way here? We are waiting, I tell him. I ask waiting for some response and I never get one. Finally the Lord gets my attention and tells me to not be anxious. I feel convicted, but reassured that he is coming soon.
I then realize that God knows the day and hour. He knows what needs to be in place for the birth that He intends for me to have. He knows how to set things up to ensure a safe and peaceful labor and delivery. He knows that I may need to get something accomplished before his arrival He may need to impart one more thing in my baby before he is to be placed into me and my husband’s arms. He may even need to show us something or gives us some type of instruction, I don’t know, but He does. I realize that I can not rush the minutes. There is a time and he will be here. Once I realize this, I have peace. I understand and am more relaxed. I tell the Lord okay, I will wait. I ask for forgiveness. I ask baby for forgiveness as well.
It is a challenge, to be so close, but yet so far away from something. It’s easy to get anxious, especially in this day of age when almost everyone you know does not make it to their 40th week for one reason or another. You then hear if your baby is not here by this time you are at risk of being induced or baby gets too big you will have to be induced. Fear starts to creep in and you wonder if everything is okay even when you know that all is well. This is where the Word of God comes in to reassure that we are not to fear, He is with us. When we start to fear that is a telltale sign that the enemy is at play. “God has not given us the spirit of fear but of power and of love and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7)”.The scripture that comes to mind these days for me is Philippians 4:6 Be anxious for nothing; but every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
I spend these last days resting, reading and spending time with my husband and family. I know once he is here our lives will be forever changed. I look forward to motherhood and can’t wait until he gets here, but for now I rest and wait in peace.
Yesterday’s reading came from Psalm 127:1-2.
Psalm 127:1 Except the LORD build the house, they labor in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.
v2: It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep.
I sat and mediated a bit on these two verses. “Except the Lord build a house they labor in vain…” I saw that the Lord has to be the one to build our homes, cities, and lives. Anything we do is in vain. I see this in my own life as we are going through these hard financial times. He is using the present situations to build our home. He is building a house of faith and bring us to a place we have never been before in Him. I rather for Him to build our home and rest in Him. If I choose any other way and see what we (Kerwin and I) can come up with, our labor will be in vain and our home will come crashing down by not following Christ and allowing Him to build the way He sees fit.
When He does it, we need not to worry about anything. It doesn’t make sense for us to rise early and stay up late trying to build our homes, and trying to figure things out. It leads us to nowhere, but stress and worry and push us further away from God our Father. When God builds, He will keep us, it will be worth it, it will not be in vain.
“He give his beloved sleep.” As we rest, He is steadily building and orchestrating things. We are being supplied for. We need not to worry, we need not to fret. When God is building, He will keep us and finish the work. It will be beautiful.
These are the things that are coming to me as I read the Psalms during this season in my life. I want the Lord to build my house. I know if I have Him as the builder, my house will be strong. It won’t collapse. I choose today for the Lord to build this house.
Is the Lord building your house or are you laboring in vain?
Today I read Psalm 120.
Psalm 120: 1 In my distress I cried unto the LORD, and he heard me.
I thank God for hearing my cries and answering my prayers. My husband and I have been placed in a situation where we have to continue to decide whether we will trust in the Lord to see us through. I thank the Lord for His Word that encourages us to do so and to be able to see the results of resting and trusting in Him. He has allowed things to happen to show how much He loves us and wants to take care of us if we allow Him to. I thank God for His Word for showing me how much He wants to be our Abba Father. He wants to show us all what He is capable of doing if we allow Him the opportunity.
We look at our situations and get discouraged forgetting we serve a God who will provide. He allows us to go through things to be able to show us all that He can be there for us. We sometimes miss this by stressing and responding as the world responds.
Psalm 119:71 It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statues.
This is how I have been feeling. When my husband started going through with his jobs and our finances started to dry up as never before and doors that we thought were opening were closing, I went into a panic mode, trying to figure out what is it that we are suppose to do now? Why are we going through this? What could we have done to go through this at this time in our lives? Does God not see that we have a child on the way soon and He has put us in a situation where we can’t prepare for him? I wanted to give up. We honestly felt abandoned by God at this point. My husband was so discouraged and I felt his pain. I felt lost and confused. I cried out to the Lord and decided to go back to the Word. The only other option was to walk away from my faith and I couldn’t because I knew God is real. It was hard, but I had to press through to see the end. Ever since I have found such encouragement in His word. I was able to finally say my heart is fixed (Psalm 108:1; 112:7) to know that I could trust Him to provide some kind of way and to praise Him for doing so.
What started to seem like the end of our lives as we know it, has been a blessing for us to see who God is as our Father, Provider and Comforter.
I don’t know the end result of this because we are still in the midst of this trial, but what I do know, it has been a blessing for us to see how God can work in any situation. I know and am encouraged to know that He has shown me that He has brought us to this place. What seemed to be a trap of the enemy is actually God setting us up for deliverance in this area of ours lives. That it will no longer be an issue for us once we are out. I praise Him for bringing us to this place. It will be a story to tell our son and his siblings of this walk of faith. Lesson for them to know, that no matter what, they can trust our Father to see them through.
I know it has been a while since I last post. There has been a lot going on and I plan to post more in detail in due time. In the meantime I been still reading Psalms to my little one in the womb and it has blessed me in my walk and has matured my relationship with Christ. I wanted to encourage you all with what I have read yesterday morning. It has really blessed my spirit. These past couple of months have been the hardest for my husband and I, as it seems like things just keep attacking us to take us out of this race. God has allowed such trials to come I know to strengthen our faith and to lean on Him as never before. During this time His Word has given great comfort and I see Him more as my Father. Someone who I can truly cast my cares upon. Anyway, yesterday I started to feel overwhelmed by everything that was coming up and feeling unprepared. I was led back to the following scriptures I had read in my morning reading. I pray they blessed you as much as they have blessed me.
Psalm 119: 49- 50 Remember the word unto thy servant, upon which thou hast caused me to hope.
vs 50: This is my comfort in my affliction: for thy word hath quickened me.
Psalm 42:5, 11 Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.
vs 11: Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in go: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.
Psalm 43: 5 Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.
I don’t have a great revelation on these scriptures, but what I do have is encouragement that my hope is in the LORD. His Word gives me hope that all is well in every situation that concerns me . Hope maketh not ashamed. Amen!
I was just finishing up in my reading and prayer time, when I had said to myself that today is August 1. August being the 8th month, I will believe for “New Beginnings”. After hearing myself speak that, something went through my spirit. I had immediately caught it and started to pray and speak over our situation. I thanked Him for the things He had completed in our lives last month. I also spoke that we will not continue on the path of despair, but will speak and believe for a new beginning in our lives. As I was praying and speaking forth these things I heard the scripture … old things have passed away; behold, all things are become new (2 Corinthians 5:17). I receive that newness this month for my family. I know it is so. I do not have to come into this month stress about anything. I can stand on God’s Word knowing if I speak forth these things and believe, it will come to pass (Mark 11:23-25). I can have confidence in this because He wants us to come into our destiny!
I wanted to share this with anyone who is stepping into this month trying to figure out how you are going to make it. Don’t try to figure it out, just start receiving the newness God has for you!
There was an article I read a while back in ‘The Word of Faith’ magazine. At the end it had a little section called ‘Speak Positive Words’. It had a small prayer that I wanted to share.
“Father, You said in Your Word that You would never leave me or forsake me. You promised to always be with me. I take Your hand by faith (here I insert what I am believing for and literally take out my hand as to hold His) and I expect You to lead me to victory!”
I found this to be helpful and encouraging. Saying this prayer reminds me that our Father will not forsake us. He will not put on us no more than we can bear. We have to believe He loves us enough to provide. We need to remember that. Let’s in Great Expectations believe for newness this month!
I believe God has my husband Kerwin and I in a place of strengthening our faith in Him. Not to depend on jobs, people or anything else. He has us to where we have to keep our eyes on Him or sink.
I remember last week when Kerwin was pretty discouraged and how I had been praying for his strength to continue on. It wasn’t long before he came home with renewed insight on casting our cares on God. I was pleased that he finally felt that God was showing him that God is still with us and all we have to do is trust and leave it up to Him to handle everything.
It’s amazing how after hearing him speak on leaving everything to God, this week the same scripture in my own private time kept coming up.
I Peter 5:7 Cast all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
Simply leave it alone, leave it to God. All week I have been focusing on the fact that our God knows our needs. All He ask is that we give it to Him and leave it there. I know it isn’t easy to do such things. We are used to trying to figure out everything, strategizing and making plans, but He also has a plan. He knows how to bring about the things we desire and/or need. All He ask is for us to have faith in Him. Stressing never gets us anywhere. We still haven’t seen much opportunity for improvement in the situations that we are trusting God in. As far as our eyes can see there is no way out, but looking through the eyes of faith we know it is there waiting for us to walk through the door.
I am also glad to be going through this time of testing of faith. In this time it prepares us to teach our children on standing in God and His Word. I want to be able to tell our children of the trials of faith that we have overcome. I want them to see us as we strive, looking only towards Christ, being that example so that they will know it is only through Christ we make it through. Seeking Him first and knowing that everything else will follow. I want them to know right off that we are not to worry as the world does ,but to know our Father knows and will supply for us. What better way to show this than by leading by example.
Let us not be of the world stressing and worrying. Let’s behave as children of the King who can supply us with all that we can ever ask and need. We will need to be set in this way of thinking for the things to come upon us in this world. It will be only by faith that we survive.