As my due date approaches, I began to wonder when will my sweet little one arrive. The days pass and I know he can come at anytime. I sometimes ask throughout the day, “Are you ready to come?” I look for signs, symptoms and any changes that hint he is on the way. I feel disappointed that nothing has happened and he seems to be content with staying put.
I get so excited by the fact he can come at anytime that I find myself getting anxious and wonder when will he make his way here? We are waiting, I tell him. I ask waiting for some response and I never get one. Finally the Lord gets my attention and tells me to not be anxious. I feel convicted, but reassured that he is coming soon.
I then realize that God knows the day and hour. He knows what needs to be in place for the birth that He intends for me to have. He knows how to set things up to ensure a safe and peaceful labor and delivery. He knows that I may need to get something accomplished before his arrival He may need to impart one more thing in my baby before he is to be placed into me and my husband’s arms. He may even need to show us something or gives us some type of instruction, I don’t know, but He does. I realize that I can not rush the minutes. There is a time and he will be here. Once I realize this, I have peace. I understand and am more relaxed. I tell the Lord okay, I will wait. I ask for forgiveness. I ask baby for forgiveness as well.
It is a challenge, to be so close, but yet so far away from something. It’s easy to get anxious, especially in this day of age when almost everyone you know does not make it to their 40th week for one reason or another. You then hear if your baby is not here by this time you are at risk of being induced or baby gets too big you will have to be induced. Fear starts to creep in and you wonder if everything is okay even when you know that all is well. This is where the Word of God comes in to reassure that we are not to fear, He is with us. When we start to fear that is a telltale sign that the enemy is at play. “God has not given us the spirit of fear but of power and of love and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7)”.The scripture that comes to mind these days for me is Philippians 4:6 Be anxious for nothing; but every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
I spend these last days resting, reading and spending time with my husband and family. I know once he is here our lives will be forever changed. I look forward to motherhood and can’t wait until he gets here, but for now I rest and wait in peace.
Yesterday’s reading came from Psalm 127:1-2.
Psalm 127:1 Except the LORD build the house, they labor in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.
v2: It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep.
I sat and mediated a bit on these two verses. “Except the Lord build a house they labor in vain…” I saw that the Lord has to be the one to build our homes, cities, and lives. Anything we do is in vain. I see this in my own life as we are going through these hard financial times. He is using the present situations to build our home. He is building a house of faith and bring us to a place we have never been before in Him. I rather for Him to build our home and rest in Him. If I choose any other way and see what we (Kerwin and I) can come up with, our labor will be in vain and our home will come crashing down by not following Christ and allowing Him to build the way He sees fit.
When He does it, we need not to worry about anything. It doesn’t make sense for us to rise early and stay up late trying to build our homes, and trying to figure things out. It leads us to nowhere, but stress and worry and push us further away from God our Father. When God builds, He will keep us, it will be worth it, it will not be in vain.
“He give his beloved sleep.” As we rest, He is steadily building and orchestrating things. We are being supplied for. We need not to worry, we need not to fret. When God is building, He will keep us and finish the work. It will be beautiful.
These are the things that are coming to me as I read the Psalms during this season in my life. I want the Lord to build my house. I know if I have Him as the builder, my house will be strong. It won’t collapse. I choose today for the Lord to build this house.
Is the Lord building your house or are you laboring in vain?
Today I read Psalm 120.
Psalm 120: 1 In my distress I cried unto the LORD, and he heard me.
I thank God for hearing my cries and answering my prayers. My husband and I have been placed in a situation where we have to continue to decide whether we will trust in the Lord to see us through. I thank the Lord for His Word that encourages us to do so and to be able to see the results of resting and trusting in Him. He has allowed things to happen to show how much He loves us and wants to take care of us if we allow Him to. I thank God for His Word for showing me how much He wants to be our Abba Father. He wants to show us all what He is capable of doing if we allow Him the opportunity.
We look at our situations and get discouraged forgetting we serve a God who will provide. He allows us to go through things to be able to show us all that He can be there for us. We sometimes miss this by stressing and responding as the world responds.
Psalm 119:71 It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statues.
This is how I have been feeling. When my husband started going through with his jobs and our finances started to dry up as never before and doors that we thought were opening were closing, I went into a panic mode, trying to figure out what is it that we are suppose to do now? Why are we going through this? What could we have done to go through this at this time in our lives? Does God not see that we have a child on the way soon and He has put us in a situation where we can’t prepare for him? I wanted to give up. We honestly felt abandoned by God at this point. My husband was so discouraged and I felt his pain. I felt lost and confused. I cried out to the Lord and decided to go back to the Word. The only other option was to walk away from my faith and I couldn’t because I knew God is real. It was hard, but I had to press through to see the end. Ever since I have found such encouragement in His word. I was able to finally say my heart is fixed (Psalm 108:1; 112:7) to know that I could trust Him to provide some kind of way and to praise Him for doing so.
What started to seem like the end of our lives as we know it, has been a blessing for us to see who God is as our Father, Provider and Comforter.
I don’t know the end result of this because we are still in the midst of this trial, but what I do know, it has been a blessing for us to see how God can work in any situation. I know and am encouraged to know that He has shown me that He has brought us to this place. What seemed to be a trap of the enemy is actually God setting us up for deliverance in this area of ours lives. That it will no longer be an issue for us once we are out. I praise Him for bringing us to this place. It will be a story to tell our son and his siblings of this walk of faith. Lesson for them to know, that no matter what, they can trust our Father to see them through.
I know it has been a while since I last post. There has been a lot going on and I plan to post more in detail in due time. In the meantime I been still reading Psalms to my little one in the womb and it has blessed me in my walk and has matured my relationship with Christ. I wanted to encourage you all with what I have read yesterday morning. It has really blessed my spirit. These past couple of months have been the hardest for my husband and I, as it seems like things just keep attacking us to take us out of this race. God has allowed such trials to come I know to strengthen our faith and to lean on Him as never before. During this time His Word has given great comfort and I see Him more as my Father. Someone who I can truly cast my cares upon. Anyway, yesterday I started to feel overwhelmed by everything that was coming up and feeling unprepared. I was led back to the following scriptures I had read in my morning reading. I pray they blessed you as much as they have blessed me.
Psalm 119: 49- 50 Remember the word unto thy servant, upon which thou hast caused me to hope.
vs 50: This is my comfort in my affliction: for thy word hath quickened me.
Psalm 42:5, 11 Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.
vs 11: Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in go: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.
Psalm 43: 5 Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.
I don’t have a great revelation on these scriptures, but what I do have is encouragement that my hope is in the LORD. His Word gives me hope that all is well in every situation that concerns me . Hope maketh not ashamed. Amen!
Sunday night and Monday when I was online, I kept seeing post and trends of “Miley Cyrus VMAs performance”. At first I ignored it thinking okay who cares what she did, but eventually curiosity got the best of me. I looked into it briefly to see what the heck all the fuss was. I read how she “Crossed the line” and became “Skank of the year”. I finally found the video of the performance and I must say she looked a mess and I do not think I will look at a foam finger the same.
After watching it, my only question was does she realize how stupid she looks? I guess that’s a stupid question to ask. If she had eyes to see, she would see that she looks insane. I thought the girl was on some type of drug. She is truly deceived to think that she did an amazing performance.
As I was watching the video and reading a couple of articles about it, I read the comments (I love to read comments :)) Everyone was saying, how crazy she looks, “O.M.G not Miley”, “My children watched her on Disney!”, “What happened to her?”
Some of these comments were from Christians and I ask the Christians. Why are we so shock that it’s Miley Cyrus? Why not Miley Cyrus? Who is she? You’re in shock because she was on Disney a supposedly Children’s channel. Since when Disney glorified Christ? Since when did Miley ever lift up the name Christ? I have not heard anywhere, anytime that Miley was brought up with Godly parents in a godly household and taught godly ways. Why were you ever allowing your children to watch her show or anything on Disney in the first place? I see no difference between her and Beyonce, Lady Gaga, and anyone else out there that is shaking their butt around and singing songs that makes absolutely no sense. Miley Cyrus is doing what she is supposed to be doing because she is under the devil’s control.
I also seen a picture of Will Smith’s family watching the performance. I guess they were supposed to be in shock. Well Will, Willow is on the same path if she don’t come to Jesus and get out of Hollywood. I don’t see any difference between the two. Willow is already wild looking and has no parental guidance.
I look at fellow followers of Christ who lift up these lil celebrities like they are so cute and allow their children to watch them and sing their songs. When will you realize it’s all in the enemy’s plan? He gets these celebrity kids while they are young and having us thinking they are innocent and cute and it’s okay to watch their show, it’s okay to sing their song. A little compromise here and there and then they grow up with your child’s loyalty and become grown and the true intentions surface and you are slapped in the face. You should be slapped in the face for following that. This is exactly what the enemy wants. He want you, your children and your family. He has these kids start off young so we can grow up with them and accept their ungodliness little by little. I hope everyone now sees this is the norm. Miley isn’t the first to go buck wild and she won’t be the last. Notice how they keep saying things like, “She is shedding her Disney image”, “She’s all grown up” They say this about every young actor, actress, singer when they grow up and start acting “sexy”. Hearing she’s all grown up sends the message that this is what grown ups do when they are grown. Then you wonder why your child wants to do this and behave that way. Acting like that does not make you a grown up. It makes you a puppet for the enemy. Our children are in danger. Go before God and ask Him on how to get your children’s hearts to focus on Christ and not this garbage that is out here. Miley and all these other little children are being used to get your children to follow this crazy worldly system.